One of my Facebook friends posed a question...along with a C and W song...If you could write a letter to your 17 year old self, what would you say. I've been thinking about this off and on all day.
So here goes:
Dear 17 year old me,
Yeah. I know. You don't believe that you are receiving a letter from your future self and that's ok. Time will prove who I am. I just hope this letter will help you make better choices than I did.
First, I want to tell you that you need to cultivate a personal relationship with God. I know you like to go to church and do church things: prayer meeting, Friday night vespers, Sabbath afternoon studies/concerts, Pathfinders, etc. etc. That is not enough. You need to get to know God one on One. That is what is going to get you through what is coming next.
In a couple of years, you are going to meet a guy and you are going to build your world around him. He's going to have those dark brown eyes that you find hard, if not impossible, to resist. He is going to break your heart; not just once but over and over again. Let me stop and say this right here and now. Maybe this will help you walk away from his brand of poison. You are worth so much more. He is going to be verbally and emotionally abusive and if you listen; if you drink his brand of Kool-Aid, you are going to be paying the price for years to come.
Ok. If you do give in and get involved with him then let it go when it is over. Don't bury what you feel for him or your pain in that deep inner vault. Give it over to God and let Him handle your pain. Understand that God said no for a reason. Trust me, this guy comes back into our life in the future and leaves another trail of broken heart crumbs. And is he screwed up? Is the Pope Catholic? Girl, you will come to realize that God did you a favor getting that man to walk out of your life.
And don't build a fortress out of weight to keep your heart from being broken again. That fortress will turn into a prison and it will be one that you will spend years (not to mention thousands of dollars) looking for a key to unlock it.
Let me tell you something about yourself. You are funny. People love your sense of humor. You are talented. Judy Garland, Bette Davis, Meryl Streep? They've got nothing on you. And hey, bonus, despite the fact that you never made Lindaires, you will record a CD. Bottom line, kid, you are worth your weight in gold. And right now, that would be a lot of money. Don't sell yourself short and don't let your broken heart steal any joy from you.
As for a prince charming? There may never be one in your life, but that is ok. I am having the time of our life as a mature single lady (We are 52 as of this writing).
Most of all, that great capacity you have for love? Share it with yourself once in a while. You deserve it.
I love ya, Kiddo,
from 52 year old me
